The same goes for hobbies– if you both love to knit, for example, you could have a quiet evening of knitting together
Friendship apps are a great way to find people who want exactly the same thing you want, without the awkwardness that can sometimes happen when you’re trying to make an LGBT friend in the real world. You signed up to get friends, they signed up to get friends–you’re in agreement!
Along with creating a normal profile for yourself, know that there’s nothing wrong with specifying that you’d prefer LGBT people specifically to contact you. As a trans person who really wants trans friends I can relate to, I get afraid sometimes of disincluding people by specifically seeking out trans people to talk to. But there’s nothing wrong with this. As a minority, it’s important to seek out community so that you feel less alone. It’s okay to want to interact with people who are similar to you– in fact, having that sense of feeling understood by someone who has a similar identity to yours can help you feel more emotionally supported as you venture out to meet people who are different from you!
Step #2: Staying Friends
Once you’ve pursued your LGBT friendship, the next step is to solidify it. Here are some ways to make sure that once you’ve met a friend, you can stay friends.
After getting someone’s contact information for the first time, it can be easy to fall into the trap of waiting for them to initiate conversation. But don’t be afraid of being the first one to start talking! Bring up something you talked about in person, or a brief inside joke you shared. Beyond that, even just a simple “Hey! How are you doing?” is a great way to start a conversation. It’s rare that someone won’t appreciate another person simply checking in to see how they’re doing.
The best way to get to know someone is by sharing time with them, whether that be virtual or in-person. Develop your new LGBT friendship by proposing an activity to do together, inviting them over to your house or apartment, or even just having a chat over Zoom. In our busy adult lives, it can sometimes be difficult to set aside time to simply talk face-to-face and catch up, but for a lot of folks, it remains the best way to get to know someone.
Something that can help when proposing hangouts is finding things you have in common with your new friend. Ask them about their favorite books, TV shows, video games, etc.– if you both like a particular piece of media, you can always discuss it or organize a watch party. Or, if your new friend has a hobby that you’re a beginner at, but are interested https://brightwomen.net/indiska-kvinnor/ in, ask them to show you the ropes a bit.
In my experiences chatting with queer folks, we tend to open up with each other more often than other people. I think it has something to do with the queer experience in general– if you’re the type of person who’s examined yourself enough to determine that you’re not straight or cis, you may be more thoughtful and introspective than folks who haven’t had to do that emotional work. It takes a lot of getting to know yourself to come out to yourself, and I’ve seen this reflected in many of the conversations I’ve had with queer people over the years.
So with your new friend, don’t be afraid to tell them some deep things about yourself . Save the sharing for when the time is right, of course. But maybe share something you usually don’t share with other people to see their reaction. In all likelihood, they’ll appreciate the trust you’re putting in them, and might feel comfortable sharing something about themselves in turn.
